It’s about time …

19 12 2013

I know it has been a while since I have posted anything. Have you missed me? There has been a lot going on, so I have been a bit busy and a bit avoiding. For starters, I went back to working full-time at the beginning of December. That was much better for me than I would have ever imagined. Shortly after going back, though, I lost my hair. It didn’t fall out in a big clump from one spot like I thought it would … it just gradually came out more and more until finally, on Friday, December 6, I had fist-fulls coming out while washing my hair. Then, I had to clean out my brush twice while getting ready for work. All day I knew … we would shave my head that night. Luckily, my taste buds had bounced back and I was able to enjoy a glass of wine – ok … a couple glasses of wine – before David and I went into the bathroom and he pulled out the clippers. I didn’t cry. It wasn’t that kind of traumatic. It was just weird. After a week of feeling normal again, here it was … another reminder that this is not yet finished.

Embracing the bald ...

Embracing the bald …

I worked again the following week, except for Wednesday when I had Round 2 of chemo. Thursday and Friday went well, and I was back at work, but Saturday things went south quickly. I am thankful for our recently purchased bed and the fact that we spent a little extra for the adjustable frame. Yes, we felt like old people buying our “Craftmatic” (it’s not, it’s a Serta), but it has been a true blessing in this situation so I don’t have to fight with pillows or stay stuck flat on my back when the only place I want to be is bed.

The after-effects of Round 2 were quite different from Round 1 – some better and some worse. I have not battled the nausea or indigestion of last time, but I have had fatigue and body aches like I have never experienced before. When the pain meds don’t take away the pain, and I have exhausted every possible comfort position, the only thing to bring relief is a redden-your-skin-hot bath. I wished I could live in one the last two days.

As bad as the last few days have been, as soon as I walk into the Oncology Center – like I did this morning – I am reminded of how truly fortunate I am, even in this trial. I am n0t trying to shrink a tumor or stop a cancer that is metastasizing like a runaway train. My prognosis is absolutely positive. I had to remind Izzy of this the Sunday after I became bald. It was really hard for her to come to terms with me losing my hair. I think it is because, for the first time since this all began, I looked different … sick, even. It was the first really physical manifestation of this trial. I had to remind her, as I remind myself, that my surgery removed all of the cancer from my body. It is not the cancer that is causing the sickness now, but the treatment … and the purpose of the treatment is just to make certain that the cancer – the real problem – never comes back. I count myself among the lucky. I count myself blessed.

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3 responses

19 12 2013
Kris Peterson

You look absolutely beautiful! You have a fabulous face shape and with your make-up on you can pull off a Sinead O’Connor. Appreciate your positive attitude. I am sure it helps your family, some. And don’t forget, you do have a right to your feelings.

Hope you and your family enjoy the blessings of Christmas.

19 12 2013
katie

You look beautiful! You have the perfect face and eyes to pull it off! Best of luck to you!

19 12 2013
Mary Rosegrant

Dear Sarah, Thank you for your continued positive outlook. Not only are you Blessed you ARE a BLESSING. YOu keep me going!

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